


The Baby Arrangement

by spazzy (Lissy)



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-08 11:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lissy/pseuds/spazzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to be Hokage, the council demands that Naruto have an heir. With so many obstacles in his way, Naruto believes all hope is lost...until a lazy genius comes up with an arrangement of sorts. ShikaNaru, Fem!Naru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On One Condition

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only place in the entire story that I will say this, so please read carefully. I found this on my computer from about two years ago, so there are many things that will be off. I've since rewrote this chapter to fit my current style, but I've maintained much of the original content. As a result, there are events in here that do not coincide with canon, making this an Alternate Reality. This means some deaths are disregarded, and the village's treatment towards Naruto isn't exactly up to canon.
> 
> Furthermore, the story will be ShikaNaru, but not shounen-ai, yaoi, or MPreg. This is because Naruto will eventually be changed into a female. If you do not agree with this, then please turn back.
> 
> And, finally, this story was significantly inspired by The Odd Couple (5771670) by Twisted Vixen, which sadly isn't going to be continued (to my knowledge as of 6/24/12), and 9 Months (5779127) by Sombra112. Both stories can be found on FF.Net.
> 
> Without further ado, please read and review. I hope you like it!

Chapter 1 – On One Condition

“Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.”

||ShikaNaru||

Naruto felt like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear. His blue eyes stared impassively at the maliciously grinning members of the civilian council. The only evidence of his shock was his now pale face. Their words rung in his head until they were little more than an annoying buzz. This…this couldn’t be happening.

“Are you serious?” he asked incredulously.

Tsunade clenched her fists, her face tight with anger. “Unfortunately not,” she spat. Her normally warm eyes were frosted over as she attempted to glare holes into several council members’ heads. Many of them averted their gaze, and some even flinched. Still, it wasn’t enough to deter them from their decision.

Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “I thought we already proved that my seal would remain strong when we destroyed the Akatsuki,” he said pointedly. “And without another organization to attempt to capture the bijuu, there isn’t any threat of the Kyuubi getting loose.”

“We don’t know that for sure,” a council member spoke up, her cruel smirk marring her otherwise attractive features. “It’s been twenty years since that seal was placed on you, and nothing can be contained for so long. It’s only a matter of time until something happens, and we can’t have someone like that become Hokage.”

Tsunade smacked her hand down on the table, causing tiny cracks to appear in the wood. “I believe Naruto here has proven to be one of the most loyal and capable shinobi that Konoha could have produced, especially given his shitty upbringing on your orders,” she hissed, fixing the civilian council with her glare. “And whilst my knowledge on seals isn’t as great as my late teammate’s, I can assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Naruto’s seal.”

“You can’t know that for sure,” Utatane Koharu spoke up. Tsunade’s eye twitched violently; why, oh why, hadn’t that old bat croaked yet?

Nara Shikaku yawned before commenting lazily, “Jiraiya-sama’s knowledge in seals was only paralleled by his late student, our very own Yondaime, Namikaze Minato. How can you claim to have respected the man’s knowledge and skill as a shinobi yet fail to believe in the seal of his own design?”

“Namikaze-sama was truly a remarkable fuuinjutsu specialist,” Mitokado Homura admitted. “However, nothing was meant to last forever. Besides, only the Yondaime can possibly know how strong the seal would remain.”

Tsunade shook her head. “We still have Minato-kun’s notes on the seal, and have gone over them extensively. Unless someone forcibly removes the seal, the Kyuubi no Kitsune shall forever remain trapped within Naruto. You know this since we presented our findings years ago.”

The meeting had only been going on for barely an hour and already Tsunade was getting a headache. She had spent the past five years training Naruto to become a respectable ninja so he could finally surpass her and she could escape the hell that was paperwork. He’d been working so hard to reach his dream and now that it was within reach, the prejudiced old bats on the civilian council wanted to take it away. She would need more than her usual two bottles of sake later.

Hyuuga Hiashi nodded his head in understanding. “You must also take into account that Uzumaki here has had his seal checked every year by the late Sandaime accompanied by a Hyuuga. Hokage-sama here has continued to check the seal since her election into the position, again accompanied by a Hyuuga, and Uzumaki has always cooperated.” He activated his Byakugan and glanced almost lazily at Naruto’s stomach, making the blond feel a little exposed. “The fox’s chakra remains completely separate from Uzumaki’s and is in no danger of escaping. Now if you don’t mind, can we stop debating about the strength of the seal? This has been a reoccurring topic for the past twenty years with the same results and, frankly, I grow tired of it.”

Shikaku smirked as the civilian council fumed. “It is rather childish to be holding onto a twenty-year-old grudge against someone that had nothing to do it.”

“We have every reason to be concerned, Nara-san,” Koharu sniffed. “It would do no good for Uzumaki here to become Hokage only to release the Kyuubi no Kitsune and have Konoha perish.”

“You raise a valid point,” Aburame Shibi commented. “The fact remains that this point has continuously been disproven over the span of two decades. Uzumaki-san himself is a fuuinjutsu specialist and knows better than anyone how the seal is doing.”

When several people glanced at him, Naruto spoke up. “The seal doesn’t seem to be weakening even the slightest.”

“And we’re to take your word on it?” an unknown man sneered.

“And I suppose you’re a fuuinjutsu specialist?” Naruto retorted sarcastically. Tsunade glanced at him sharply, but he could see the amusement in her eyes.

“That’s enough,” Tsunade stated before anyone could remark any further. She stared at the council members. “I have not changed my mind. Naruto will be my successor and the Rokudaime Hokage. If anyone has legitimate objections, speak of them now.”

Shikaku yawned once more. “No objections from me, Hokage-sama.” His eyes drooped down ever-so-slightly.

A civilian councilwoman stood and spat, “I’d sooner die than have that demon become Hokage.”

He’d heard such vile insults all his life, and this time was no different. He should’ve expected the civilian council to never allow him to fulfill his dream. He knew becoming Hokage would be an uphill battle with no reprieve. He knew, so why did that abrupt realization hurt so much?

“You will do well to watch your mouth,” Tsunade said very quietly, her chakra slightly spiking in her anger. “The way I see it, the only demons in this room are the ones that blamed an innocent baby for crimes not his own. If most of the village can see that Naruto is not the Kyuubi nor has any intention of setting the fox free, why can’t the rest of you?”

The councilwoman flinched slightly, but jutted her chin out and kept her stubborn defiance. It was somewhat nullified by the undeniable fear and slight hesitation in her eyes. “I do not know how this thing has convinced everyone else otherwise, but I was there when the fox attacked. That kind of malevolent evil doesn’t just remain dormant for long. It will eventually bring about the ruin of Konoha. Just having it become a ninja was bad enough, but to actually allow it to advance further than the current rank of jounin? You ask for too much, Hokage-sama.”

Naruto clenched his fists tightly at the woman’s harsh words, but remained silent. He could see an inkling of truth underneath her prejudice tone. A malevolent being like the Kyuubi does not just go away, nor does it ever really remain dormant. However, Naruto had fought enough with the fox to develop a (barely) decent arrangement. Meaning, the Kyuubi stopped trying to take over Naruto’s body and only gave chakra when it was absolutely necessary.

Shikaku hummed thoughtfully. “You do raise a valid point,” he admitted. “Nothing so evil can really be contained for long. However, I also believe that Uzumaki here has enough control to not only maintain control of his body, but actually seek help in the event that the fox tries anything unsavory.”

Tsunade sighed, very much annoyed. “Naruto has proven his loyalty to Konoha through and through. He would sooner kill himself than let the fox do anything to hurt the village.”

“Now there’s an idea…” a man muttered not-so-quietly.

Tsunade glared fiercely at him, killing intent leaking from her. “Do you really wish to entertain the idea of murder in my office?” she asked quietly.

The man shook his head, shivering. “N-No, H-Hokage-s-sama,” he stuttered.

Akimichi Chouza frowned. “This is getting us nowhere,” he said, gaining everyone’s attention. “It seems like this issue will be continuously debated, no matter the evidence supported and the accusations refuted. We need to come up with some sort of compromise. Quite frankly, I believe Uzumaki-san over here will make a good leader. With Hokage-sama’s training and his own skills as a shinobi, I still don’t see why we’re still arguing over his status as a jinchuuriki. The Kazekage, Sabaku no Gaara, was also a jinchuuriki, as many of you may recall, and he became one of the finest Kazekages Suna has ever produced.”

Shikaku smirked. “Compromise, huh? I like your thinking, Chouza. Then we can end this troublesome meeting.”

Tsunade nodded her head in agreement. “A compromise, then.”

Homura and Koharu exchanged glances. “Could we have a moment to discuss what would make us more comfortable with the de—Uzumaki becoming Hokage?”

Tsunade’s eyes narrowed at the intentional slip, but nodded her head. The civilian council gathered themselves and quietly left, speaking in hushed tones that even Inuzuka Tsume had trouble picking up. During that time, Naruto felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down his back. They were up to something. There was no way they were just going to come up with a compromise. Most likely, they would come up with something impossible. Glancing at Tsunade, he realized she was thinking something along the same lines.

When the council returned, a satisfactory air hanging around them, Naruto and several others were instantly on edge. The blond tensed and waited for Homura to speak.

“We believe that at this point in time, many of us are wary of Uzumaki given his past nature. Loud, brash, immature—all traits unbefitting of a Hokage. Therefore, we ask that Uzumaki prove his growth as a ninja. We ask that he show us he has what it takes, and is worthy of our respect and loyalty.”

Tsunade’s eyebrows rose. “That’s it?” she asked, suspicion and incredulousness coloring her voice. “What do you require of him exactly?”

Koharu spoke up now, a spark of glee in her eyes. “Being Hokage is much like parenting, yes? You feel as if you are being pulled in all sorts of directions, you need to overcome obstacles. It’s a difficult, demanding job. We propose that Uzumaki has a child. Hopefully, having an heir will prove his growth as a human being and show that he has what it takes to perform in such a position. He will have to raise his heir as well as keep up with Hokage training.”

The silence in the room was palpable.

“Are you kidding me?” Naruto blurted out, his eyes very wide and his face pale.

Koharu almost sneered, but Tsunade’s glare changed her mind. “Many of the Hokages have had children, with the exception of Yondaime-sama and Godaime-sama.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Tsume barked. “You think Uzumaki is a demon, yet you want him to spawn children in order to take on the Hokage position?”

Tsunade narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “That’s the question, isn’t it?” she murmured. “Why make such a concession as to allow Naruto to spawn children when you don’t want him in such a position of power?”

Homura sniffed disdainfully. “Our reasons do not matter. If Uzumaki wishes to become Hokage, we will allow it if he has an heir of his own blood. That is our decision. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?” His eyes twinkled unpleasantly.

“That’s the problem,” claimed a now wide-awake Shikaku. “You were extremely adamant that Naruto here doesn’t become Hokage, and now you give in so easily?” His eyes sharply observed their smug forms.

“Well, if the de—Uzumaki won’t agree to the terms,” a civilian councilman began.

“Can I have time to decide?” Naruto interrupted, staring at the floor and clenching his fist so tight his blunt nails were starting to cut into his hand.

The civilian council looked at each other smugly, as if they’d expected this very reaction, before Koharu said, “A week. We’ll give you one week to make a decision.”

Naruto nodded his head and directed his gaze out of the window.

Homura stood, as did the rest of the civilian council. “Hokage-sama,” he murmured, bowing. His lips were tugged in a smug smirk as he nodded his goodbyes and left.

When the civilian council finally filtered out of the room, Tsunade grimly announced, “They’re up to something.”

“Of course they are,” Tsume scoffed. “They wouldn’t have given in so easily otherwise.”

“But the question is, what are they up to?” Hiashi narrowed his eyes in thought. While Uzumaki wasn’t exactly his first choice to be Hokage, he couldn’t dispute with Tsunade that he was a pretty good choice. With experience, he was sure the blond would become most formidable. He did not, however, appreciate the civilian council’s plans, whatever they were, as they were sure to produce more trouble than the civilian members of the council were worth.

“It’s not like they were ever going to agree with my becoming Hokage,” Naruto said suddenly, still looking out the window.

Tsunade frowned. “What do you mean, Naruto?” she asked, slightly worried. It almost sounded like he was giving up, but that couldn’t be. Naruto never gave up.

Naruto finally directed his gaze at the Hokage. “You don’t think Jiji got me into the Academy without a fight, do you?”

Tsunade froze; the thought had never really crossed her mind. “How did…?”

Naruto sighed softly, a sad smile tugging at his lips. “It took a lot of convincing,” he said. “They didn’t want the demon to be taught how to fight, or kill. After months of arguing and whatnot, Jiji finally was able to get me into the Academy, but at a price.”

Shikaku narrowed his eyes. “What price, and why weren’t we informed of this?”

“I was still a civilian when the agreement was made, so the ninja council didn’t need to be informed,” Naruto said. “And the price? The seal was still thought to be unstable. In order for me to be a ninja, I was to have monthly seal check-ups for two years as well as monthly psych evaluations. I was also forbidden from having romantic and sexual encounters with any girl in the village.”

“WHAT?!” Tsunade roared, standing up in outrage. “Why would Sarutobi agree to that idiocy?!”

“He always did give the civilian council more power than they deserved,” Hiashi spat, not furious on behalf of Naruto, but rather upset that the council overstepped their bounds.

“But that agreement should be overruled due to your current ninja status,” Tsume argued.

Naruto shrugged. “Jiji didn’t tell me much, but after years of thought I got the impression that they worded it in such a way that only they can overrule the agreement.”

“That’s just ridiculous,” Shikaku stated flatly. “They don’t have the jurisdiction to dictate your life in such a matter now that you’re a ninja. And besides, you’ve had romantic relations before.”

“As my crush was never returned, not really, no,” Naruto admitted, blushing slightly as the thought of Sakura came into his head. He knew they’d never go out, even if that stupid agreement never happened, and was happy being good friends and teammates with the pinkette. Still, she’d always be one of the prettiest girls he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Where is this agreement?” Tsunade demanded. “Did Sarutobi ever tell you? I’ve never seen anything that stated such nonsense.” And she should have seen it. All agreements were written and given the Hokage seal to ensure authenticity, so a paper of such importance should have been given to her as the next Hokage.

Naruto shook his head. “I was six at the time. Whatever he did explain to me, I didn’t really understand until I got older.”

“Naruto, why would you agree to such a thing?” Tsunade asked, her eyes softening as she gazed at the young man that wormed his way into her heart.

“I was six,” Naruto repeated. “Why would I give having a family much thought? I just wanted to be a ninja.” He sighed and ran his hand through his golden locks. “Jiji did tell me, however, that after the Chunin Exam he was going to fight them over it again. But, well, he never did get the chance to…”

The room was filled with a solemn silence.

“Well,” Shibi said, “now we know why they gave in so easily.” When he had their undivided attention, he continued, “It’s a win-win scenario for them. Naruto says no, he doesn’t become Hokage. Naruto says yes, he still can’t become Hokage. Not unless we can figure out how to work our way around their ridiculous agreement, if not get rid of it altogether.”

Tsunade barely held onto her scream of frustration. “Okay, okay. We’ll figure this out,” she said quietly. She took a deep breath and turned to Naruto. “You’re going to be Hokage, Naruto. I’ll make sure of it.”

Naruto smiled a little weakly at her. He wasn’t too sure what Tsunade could do for him, but he knew better than to underestimate her. She was the Hokage, after all, and she’d take on the council if it meant helping him with his dream; she said so many times before. Spirit renewed, Naruto nodded his head and grinned broadly. “How’re we gonna do this?”

Tsunade smiled chillingly. “We need to find that agreement. Pronto.”


	2. A Mother's Demand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru returns from a disastrous and near fatal mission where he is confronted by his mother.

Chapter 2 – A Mother’s Demand

  


“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”  


||ShikaNaru||

Nara Shikamaru had never run so fast in his life. He was out of chakra, exhausted, and injured. None of that mattered, though. He needed to get back to Konoha as fast as possible. His gravely injured teammate groaned from his place on Shikamaru’s back and shivered. The mission was supposed to be a simple C-ranked escort mission. It was the only reason why he took it, really. 

The entire village of Konoha knew how lazy the men in the Nara clan tended to be, and Shikamaru was no different. He absolutely loathed working hard (which was amazing because hard work was such a necessity in the ninja lifestyle), and that was the primary reason why he enjoyed his job at the Academy. Sure, he had to teach brats how to be ninja, but at least he could do it sitting down and using a pointer.

He really shouldn’t have agreed to go on this stupid mission. If he hadn’t, he’d be on the roof of his clan home, looking at the clouds and feeling his mind slowly drift into the sky. Because, after all, with a high intellect level like his, sometimes his brain got too crowded. Staring at the clouds allowed him to find peace.

Shikamaru glanced at the night sky. He’d been running for seventeen hours straight, popping a soldier pill when he felt his legs ready to give up. The mission seemed very simple. Escort the nobleman and his daughter, Rei, back to the Land of Waves. They were always prepared to face more danger than anticipated on a mission, because anything could happen, but even they hadn’t anticipated fending off missing-nin from Kirigakure on their way back to the village.

As a result, one of his teammates was dead, and he was fighting to keep the other one alive. As soon as the last ninja was killed, he barely had enough time to seal his dead teammate’s body in a scroll, throw the other one over his back, and run as fast as he could to the closest hospital—twenty-nine hours to Konoha.

It was one of the few missions where Shikamaru thought that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t make it home.

No, he thought viciously to himself, pushing his legs to run faster and ignore the throbbing in his shoulder, torso, and ankle. He was going to make it back to Konoha; he was going to make it in time to get his teammate some help, and then he would take a nice, sixty-four hour long nap. Another soldier pill was popped into his mouth, and he ignored the little voice in the back of his head warning him about using so many.

He continued to run for another few hours, barely stopping to rest. His teammate shivered violently, his wounds no doubt now infected. Shikamaru nearly cried out in happiness when he saw the gates of Konoha. He stopped only long enough for the guards to recognize him before heading immediately to the hospital. After hours of running, his teammate was finally receiving treatment and he could breathe a sigh of relief. Before he knew it, his body was finally giving out and his world turned black.

Shikamaru woke to the beeping of a machine. He bit out a groan of discontentment, which only seemed to make his head pound more. What the hell happened? Shikamaru lazily opened an eye only to close it again when the sun blinded him with a vengeance. When he opened his eyes again after a few minutes, he realized he was back in Konoha in the hospital. He frowned when memories of ‘C-rank turned A-rank from hell’ mission came to the surface. His stomach burned fiercely where he’d been viciously stabbed, and he winced.

Shikamaru sighed, annoyed. Now he’d have to wait to get better before training more, which would cut into his Shogi and cloud watching time, but he knew some sacrifices had to be made. After Asuma nearly died, Shikamaru had taken his training a tad more seriously and made sure he had enough endurance and chakra to run from an enemy that outclassed him. It obviously wasn’t enough, and that mistake nearly cost him his life.

“Shikamaru…?”

The chūnin shifted his gaze to the side of his bed where his mother sat. She was normally a strict and overbearing woman, and definitely wore the pants in the relationship with his father. Her eyes, however, seemed to speak volumes about the worry she felt.

“Hi, mom,” he said lamely. He winced as his mother’s eyes narrowed; that, apparently, had been the wrong thing to say.

“Hi, mom?” Yoshino hissed angrily, her eyes narrowed on her cringing son. “That’s all you have to say to me?”

Shikamaru shrugged his shoulders, but hissed when it ached uncomfortably. He wanted to comment on how troublesome she was acting, but from her posture he already knew he w as in for a thorough tongue lashing. He always was with her. She was too demanding, too nagging, and he absolutely hated having to listen to it. He was twenty, after all. He should have moved out long ago.

“Nice to see you,” he continued, though his tone held an uncertain note in it.

Yoshino seemed to swell with anger. “Shikamaru,” she said softly, making her son wince, “you’ve been in the hospital for two days with serious wounds, overdosed on soldier pills, and all you have to tell me IS HI?!”

Shikamaru nearly recoiled at her shriek. Troublesome, he thought miserably. “The mission went south,” he defended. “It’s not like I asked for my team to be attacked by missing-nin!”

“I’ve been worried sick and you don’t even have the decency to greet me properly!” she ranted.

Shikamaru’s nostrils flared, but he bit down his angry retort. His mother, no matter how crazy she drove him, was not a woman to be messed with. In fact, he was sure it was much safer to lewdly spank Tsunade and dye Uchiha Itachi’s hair pink than it was to provoke Nara Yoshino. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he said half-heartedly. He was injured, tired, and really didn’t want to deal with his mother when she was on a warpath.

His mother temporarily deflated. “Oh, Shikamaru, why haven’t you taken your training seriously?” she asked. “You could’ve d-died.”

Shikamaru shifted uncomfortably, so unused to his mother displaying the vulnerable side his father always claimed she’d had. “I’m sorry,” he said, this time more sincerely. “I’ll train harder.”

That, however, did not appease Yoshino in the slightest. “No, you won’t,” she practically grit out. “Shikamaru, I can count on my hand the number of times you’ve taken your training seriously.”

Shikamaru sighed. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” he mumbled. He wished he’d taken longer to wake up. What a drag.

Yoshino sighed softly and rubbed at her temples, her anger ebbing away as she took in her son’s exhausted form. She licked her lips in a rare sign of nervousness. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes warily, a weird sense of foreboding. His mother was a formidable ball-buster and simply did not get nervous. Still, she took in a deep breath and began to speak. “Shikamaru, I can’t keep living like this,” she said softly. “I can’t get on your case for your entire life, and you don’t seem to understand that your laziness in this profession will get you killed.”

“I don’t normally go on missions,” Shikamaru bit out. “Teaching at the Academy does not require me to be a powerhouse. But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll up my training with Asuma-sensei.”

Yoshino shook her head in frustration. “How many times have I heard that, but not seen it?” she demanded. “When you’re not working, you’re sleeping or watching the clouds or out with your friends.” She shook her head. “No more, Shikamaru. It’s past time you’ve learnt some responsibility.”

Shikamaru’s throat went dry, and he forced down his bitterness. His mom made it seem like he didn’t do anything. “I’m fine, actually. Thanks for the concern. I think I’ll take a nap now, if you don’t mind.”

His mother ignored him, not buying his act. He knew she wouldn’t. “I’ve thought long and hard about how you can possibly learn some responsibility, and I was only able to come up with two options: having an heir and becoming a husband.”

Shikamaru’s ears began to ring unpleasantly. “You want me to…?”

Yoshino continued, ignoring how red her son’s face was becoming. “I realize it’s a big step, which is why I’m going to give you a week to decide which you’re going to do.”

Shikamaru laughed coldly as his eyes narrowed considerably. “I’m not doing either,” he spat. “And you seriously wonder why I can’t stand to be in the same room as you sometimes? You always have to be in control, always nagging, and you know what? You can’t force me to do this!”

Yoshino regarded her son calmly. “I’ll think you’ll find that I can, actually,” she said coolly. “While the Nara clan does not necessarily follow a good many of the old clan laws, I am not opposed to pulling a page out of the Hyuuga clan’s book.”

Shikamaru froze. She wouldn’t… Looking at her face, however, he could see that she would. Never before had Shikamaru ever thought that his own parents would become like the more strict Hyuuga or even Uchiha clan leaders who had total control over their children’s lives.

If only it was merely restricted to that. His mother already had control over his life, so making it official wouldn’t have bothered him. Because his father was Head of the Nara clan, his and his mother’s word was basically law to Shikamaru. If he were to disobey, they could legally seal his chakra and ship him off somewhere—despite his age.

But his father wouldn’t… Oh, who was he kidding? His father was whipped and never would stand up to his mother.

“You’re aware such an occurrence helped Uchiha Itachi decide to slaughter his clan,” he said casually.

His mother’s lips twitched upwards. “You’re smarter than that,” Yoshino said. Her face became serious again. “Shikamaru, I know you’re upset with me, but this is for your own good.”

Shikamaru stared hard at his mother. “I’m not getting married or having a kid,” he said quietly in a surprising display of rebellion.

Yoshino cocked an eyebrow. “If you refuse, I will enforce a punishment in accordance to clan laws,” she said softly. “And you wouldn’t dishonor your father by bringing this in front of the council, would you?”

She had him there, and she knew it. He clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. It wasn’t too surprising. Though her IQ wasn’t as high as Shikamaru’s, she certainly exceeded the average level of intelligence. Still, a part of Shikamaru was shocked that his mother would go to such lengths. He felt almost…betrayed, really. His mother had always been overbearing and irritating, but she’d never crossed the line and became cruel. The Nara clan—they weren’t like the stuffy Hyuuga or Uchiha clans. They were laid back—lazy in laymen’s terms—and the children were allowed a level of freedom the more ‘noble’ clans forbade.

Until now, that is.

Putting his fingers together in a circle, Shikamaru’s mind furiously worked in an attempt to find a flaw in his mother’s plan. He was partly impressed at how well thought out it was, and majorly infuriated at what she was going to make him do. He didn’t want children yet, or a wife. Women were troublesome, loud, nagging creatures, and for the better part of their early years so were children. Shikamaru was only twenty, and hadn’t even had the opportunity to explore the training grounds before battle, so to speak.

Still, he had to try to think his way out of this. His brain had never failed him before. If he were to fight against this, as was his right, Yoshino as his mother and wife to the Head of the clan had every right to contest his rebellion and bring it up in front of a council composing of senior members of the clan as well as two outside clan Heads as non-partial judges. To air their dirty laundry, however, was dishonorable and would shame his father.

Hyuuga Neji had dishonored the main branch of the Hyuuga clan during the Chūnin Exams a few years ago. While Hyuuga Hiashi, the Head, did not punish him as was his right, he’d received much grief for months until he’d almost killed himself during the Sasuke Retrieval mission. The mission’s success and Neji defeating Kidōmaru was the only reason why Neji’s honor had been restored.

It didn’t matter much to Shikamaru. He was too lazy to care about what others thought, but his disobedience would only result in causing his father grief. Shikaku was also too lazy to care, but it was about much more than just his or his father’s opinion. Because Shikaku had a seat on the council, Shikamaru’s rebellion could have a negative effect on Shikaku’s decisions regarding any manner of law.

Troublesome. The whole damn thing was too troublesome. Shikamaru sighed. There really wasn’t much he could do. It seemed the best option and the smartest way to go would be to marry or knock someone up.

He really should have napped longer.

“I have a week to decide, right?” Shikamaru asked quietly, staring at the sky outside of his window.

Yoshino perked up. “Yes,” she said, struggling to keep the excitement and happiness out of her voice. “After that, I expect six months to be an agreeable time to either choose a wife or find someone to bear an heir.”

Shikamaru snorted. “Sure, whatever,” he said lazily, knowing without looking at her that his mother’s eyebrow was twitching furiously at his casual dismissal. “You know I most likely won’t ever forgive you for this?”

Yoshino’s excitement immediately evaporated. She stared at her son, her expression a little hurt before it became unreadable. “I know it might not seem like it, Shikamaru, but I have your best interests at heart.”

Shikamaru finally turned away from the window and stared hard at his mother. “My interests?” he scoffed. “Forcing me into something like this is going to guarantee one of two things. One, I grow to loathe my newfound wife or child since neither are currently wanted at this time, or two, I end up having a divorce and putting the kid up for adoption. Which do you think is most likely?”

Yoshino reared back as if struck. Then she stared at him sternly, her tone becoming hard and strict like Shikamaru was used to hearing from. “This is for your own good,” she hissed. “You need to stop acting like a little boy and learn how to deal with your responsibilities.”

“Right,” Shikamaru replied, yawning and settling into his bed. “I’ll do just that, mother. If you’ll excuse me, I really don’t want to be near you right now.”

Yoshino swallowed whatever she was going to say as Shizune came in to check on Shikamaru’s status. She stood and smoothed out her shirt. As she made her way out of the room, she said, “Your father agrees with me, you know. I’ll expect your answer in a week’s time.”

A muscle in Shikamaru’s jaw twitched. So the old man was in on this? Damn pussy-whipped bastard.

“Are you okay?” Shizune asked with a frown. “Your heart rate is a little accelerated.”

“Fine,” Shikamaru groaned.

Shizune obviously didn’t believe him, but she nodded and left him in peace. He stared at the ceiling for a while. He wasn’t too sure if a week was enough time to consider what he would need to do, but then again if he had it his way he wouldn’t need to make that decision for another few years. Shikamaru bit back a groan of frustration. Why’d his mother have to be so damn troublesome?

Despite himself, Shikamaru found his mind going over the pros and cons of the different females he knew. For a grand total of twelve point seven seconds, he considered Ino but then immediately scratched that idea out. He knew the old saying, “You end up marrying your parents.” However, Ino was way too much like his mom, and he’d rather marry a dog than put up with her nagging for longer than necessary.

The door to his hospital room slammed open and his teammates shuffled in. “SHIKAMARU! We heard you were in the hospital!” Ino shrieked.

Speak of the devil.


	3. Chapter 3 – Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto remembers what happened after he dragged Sasuke back to Konoha. He meets with Team 7, and discovers an...interesting way to become Hokage.

Chapter 3 – Discovery

“A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.”

||ShikaNaru||

Naruto felt like stamping up and down and screaming at the top of his lungs. He was tired, his head hurt from thinking so much, and he hadn’t made any progress. Right after the meeting with the council, he had high-tailed it to his apartment and spent all night searching it. He’d hoped in the last fourteen years of living there that he’d perhaps missed a clue of the Sandaime’s telling him where the agreement was, but he wasn’t that stupid.

“Damn council,” he grumbled angrily. Most of the village had accepted him and treated him like a normal person. Why was it so damn hard for those old goats to do the same? He huffed, determination coursing through his veins. This was just another obstacle to get across. His dream of being Hokage was so close. He couldn’t give up! He wouldn’t!

Naruto glanced at the clock on the wall, and yelped. He was going to be late! Biting back a curse, Naruto quickly hopped into the shower to get ready.

After Sasuke had tried to abandon the village, things between Team 7 had nearly deteriorated. Naruto had been so happy and elated when he managed (barely) to drag Sasuke back to Konoha that night. He had been injured fairly severely, but thanks to the Kyuubi didn’t need any surgery when he finally made it to the hospital. Sakura had taken one look at him and hugged him, crying her thanks and delivering a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

His happiness further escalated when Tsunade told him his teammates were going to be okay after hours of nerve-wracking surgery. The mission had been a success. The Sound Four were defeated, and Sasuke was back in Konoha where he belonged. That, of course, did not change the fact that Sasuke had nearly followed in his brother’s footsteps. So thirsty for his revenge, he almost abandoned his home, his friends, and comrades.

Neji, Chouji, and Kiba had all been seriously injured because of Sasuke’s attempt at defection. That was when the reality of everything that had happened fully hit him. It wasn’t time to feel elated about the mission’s success. The truth was Sasuke almost became a missing-nin, almost became a danger to the village he swore to protect the moment he entered the Academy. The Uchiha had almost inadvertently caused the death of three fellow ninja.

When Tsunade announced that Sasuke was awake, Naruto fought tooth and nail to be able to see him before Sasuke had to stand trial. Naruto had questions he wanted answered, and desperately hoped that all the vile things Sasuke had told him were said in the heat of the moment. And at long last, after nearly an hour of arguing and negotiating, he was granted a ten-minute visit with an ANBU standing guard.

But that conversation did not go at all the way Naruto had planned.

__

“What do you want?”

Naruto froze at the icy words. He stared at Sasuke who glared at him with just as much, if not more, hatred than the villagers ever had. Suppressing a shiver, Naruto swallowed and ignored the killing intent leaking from his best friend. “Why did you try to leave?” he asked quietly, his normally happy and exuberant attitude gone.

Sasuke scoffed. “We discussed this, moron,” he spat bitterly. “I need to be stronger. I need power, and Orochimaru is the surest way to get it.”

“I’m the moron?” Naruto demanded. “That snake bastard only wants your stupid Sharingan, and you were just going to waltz to him! So that’s the fate of the once mighty Uchiha clan? To be used by stronger ninja?”

The killing intent rose dramatically, causing the ANBU to have ready a kunai in hand. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW?” Sasuke roared. “YOU DON’T HAVE A CLAN, AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LOSE EVERYONE CLOSE TO YOU! YOU’RE JUST A STUPID, WEAK MORON WITH DELUSIONS OF BECOMING THE HOKAGE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT, NARUTO? IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!”

Naruto stood there, shocked and hurt. Instead of letting it show, however, he let his anger grow. So Sasuke did mean what he said when they fought.... “I never thought you would fall so low,” Naruto said softly.

Sasuke seemed to swell with fury. “Like you’d know anything,” he sneered. “Once an idiot, always an idiot. You’ll never amount to much of a ninja! You smile and act like everything’s okay when it really isn’t. You want to keep me weak, but that’s not going to happen. With this seal I’ll get strong somehow, and when I do, I’ll kill you.”

However he meant for Naruto to react to that, he sure wasn’t expecting nearly hysterical laughter. “I’m the idiot?” Naruto chuckled more. “Sasuke, you’re weak because you train for the wrong reasons. You can only truly be strong when you have someone precious to protect!”

“Someone precious?” Sasuke shook his head angrily. “You’re a fool, Uzumaki. I’m an avenger. I don’t need anyone.”

His anger, which had begun to escalate, finally exploded. “AND THAT’S WHY YOU’RE A BIGGER IDIOT THAN I EVER WAS!” Naruto yelled. “THINK OF EVERY SINGLE STRONG PERSON THIS VILLAGE HAS PRODUCED! JIRAIYA, TSUNADE, OROCHIMARU, KAKASHI-SENSEI, THE HOKAGES, ALL OF THEM! HOW MANY ACHIEVED THAT LEVEL OF STRENGTH ON THEIR OWN?!”

Sasuke twitched. “I don’t need—”

“NONE OF THEM!” Naruto continued, leaping onto the hospital bed to seize Sasuke by the throat and slam him into the wall. The ANBU had been ready to interfere, but stood down when he realized Naruto wasn’t going to injure the Uchiha. “EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD OTHER PEOPLE TO DEPEND ON AND TEACH THEM! EVEN YOUR BROTHER NEEDED HELP, AND HE WAS A HELL OF A LOT SMARTER AND STRONGER THAN YOU!”

Sasuke struggled against Naruto’s grip, seething at how much stronger the idiot seemed. He didn’t realize that the drugs in his system prevented him from fighting back at full strength. “You don’t know anything about Ita—”

“YOU CLAIM YOU WANT TO AVENGE YOUR FAMILY,” Naruto screeched. He didn’t bother listening to Sasuke’s protests. “BUT IN REALITY YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR BROTHER! HE SLEW YOUR CLAN, SO YOU’RE GOING TO SLAY HIM! TELL ME, HOW ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT FROM ITACHI?!”

Sasuke flinched as if struck. “I…” His head began to swim.

Naruto panted heavily, glaring furiously at his teammate. “Your brother, he has the different Sharingan, right?” Naruto questioned. He didn’t wait for an answer. “And you said in order to get it, you needed to kill the person closest to you. How are you going to do that when there isn’t anybody close to you?”

Sasuke glared weakly at Naruto, most of his fight gone. “I will defeat Itachi…” he grit out.

“Perhaps,” Naruto conceded. “Not with a better Sharingan. You wanted so badly to sever the bond we have, congratulations. From this moment on, you’re dead to me, Uchiha.”

Sasuke stared at him, slightly shocked. This was what he wanted. He wanted to abandon the dead weight that prevented him from reaching his goal, and that meant not sharing any sort of friendship or rivalry with Naruto. He knew this, and it was what he wanted…so why did it hurt so bad? “Like I need you,” he sneered, determined to foster his hate, like Ita— He paused as he realized despite hating his brother, he had still did what was told of him.

“Good,” Naruto said coldly. “I guess we’re done here, Uchiha.”

Without another word, Naruto left the hospital. He ignored the shocked and worried stares from his teammates, who had all been outside of the room and heard everything that was said. He ignored the pain in his heart and the voice in his head scolding him for giving up on his friendship with Sasuke. He ignored the villagers stares, some of them devoid of the usual hatred since he brought back the precious Uchiha.

He ignored everything and walked home numbly. When he finally made it into his apartment, he stripped and took a shower, trying to wash away the worthless feeling that had begun to well in him. Maybe taking a break from his friendship with Sasuke was a good thing. Maybe it was best for everyone.

He cried himself to sleep that night.

Ever since that day, there was a large rift in Team 7’s dynamics. As expected, the civilian council fought tooth and nail to prevent Sasuke’s execution or sealing of his chakra. They wanted the Sharingan back in Konoha, thriving. They wanted him to reproduce as fast as possible and have as many Uchiha babies around, careless of the fact that the only two Uchihas remaining were traitors.

Because even though Sasuke wasn’t successful in his defection, he had still attempted it.

His sentence was far too lenient for the ninja council and far too strict for the civilian. He was to be under house arrest for two years with his chakra temporarily sealed, not allowed to in any way train or take part in missions. Sasuke had to visit a medic-nin trained in mind healing two times a week for at least a year. The twelve-year-old had been furious at the conditions, but even he knew he was getting off rather easy.

Months went by without any improvement in Sasuke’s attitude. Sakura tried desperately to get Sasuke to talk to her, but he took to being completely silent on the rare occasions when he had to meet Team 7. Kakashi also attempted to get Sasuke to see the error of his ways, but nothing would placate the Uchiha.

It took four and a half months for Sasuke to realize that Naruto had been right. While Sasuke had focused on his need to avenge his clan, Naruto’s strength and overall progress had shot up in leaps and bounds. The difference in their levels was obvious, much to Sasuke’s horrified realization. After so long of bottling up what he really felt and transferring all of that pent up emotion into hatred, Sasuke finally had a mental breakdown.

The medic-nin he saw, Yamanaka Kosuke, told him it was a good thing. That it was the right way to go about getting over what happened, but Sasuke only felt worse. Naruto’s words kept echoing in his head, and he listened to them with a new sense of clarity. Naruto had been right.

“You’re dead to me, Uchiha.”

That statement plagued the both of them, though neither knew it. Naruto saw it as a failure on his part. He was Sasuke’s friend, arguably only friend as the rest of their comrades were acquaintances, and he gave up on it. Naruto felt so ashamed for it, but he stubbornly maintained his decision. Sasuke had tried to kill him, and if he just forgave the Uchiha like that, then what did that say about Naruto’s sense of worth?

It was complicated. Sasuke could be a damn good friend when he pulled the stick out of his ass, but some things were inexcusable, and sometimes an apology isn’t enough. He didn’t know Sasuke had started to improve mentally, however.

Jiraiya offered to train him out of the village for two and a half years, and Naruto instantly took it. He was gone before Sasuke could apologize.

Naruto turned off the water and dried himself. He threw his clothes on as fast as he could and locked up his apartment before running all the way to the Uchiha complex. After he had returned from his training trip with Jiraiya, Team 7 had managed to patch up the rift. It had taken nearly two years to repair the damage, but they fixed each other and became an actual team, though that took another year. To maintain the same-yet-new friendship and companionship, Team 7 took to meeting at least once a week.

And Naruto was late.

“NARUTO!” Sakura yelled as he burst through the door. “You’re late! Don’t tell me you’re becoming more like Kakashi-sensei!”

Naruto chuckled and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Sorry, sorry. I was up all night and lost track of time.”

Before Sakura could reply, Sasuke walked into the room with a tray full of tea and nigiri. Naruto pouted at the lack of ramen, but accepted the food anyways. “Why were you up all night?” Sasuke asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Naruto grimaced, drinking the slightly bitter tea. He paused for a moment, wondering how to go about telling his teammates his problem. “Can you put up privacy seals?” he asked Sasuke seriously.

Sasuke’s eyebrow cocked of his own accord, but he performed a few hand signs and the area glowed purple briefly. “What’s this about, Naruto?”

“The civilian council members agreed to my becoming Hokage on one condition,” Naruto said quietly. “They want me to have an heir to prove I’m responsible enough.”

Sakura choked on her tea. “They want you to what?” she rasped, coughing.

Sasuke had a funny look on his face. “I can’t see you having kids,” he said thoughtfully, giving Naruto a once over.

Naruto sighed. “And I’m not allowed to have them, either.”

His teammates blinked, obviously confused. “But you said…” Sakura began.

Naruto stood up and started to pace. “In order for me to enroll in the Academy, Jiji had to sacrifice something,” he said abruptly. “They didn’t want the demon to be taught how to fight, or kill. So Jiji compromised. I had to get the stupid seal checked every month for two years, and I had to have continuous psych evaluations. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they forbade me from having romantic and sexual encounters with any woman in the village.”

“THEY DID WHAT?!” Sakura shrieked, standing up with anger clear in her eyes. “They couldn’t…but how could they…that’s not right! No, they’re not allowed to do that! That’s…that’s just so…”

“Disgusting,” Sasuke sneered. “They go too far.”

“They didn’t want me to reproduce,” Naruto mumbled. “At the time, the seal was still thought to be unstable and nobody knew if the Kyuubi would somehow transfer to my child or if something funny would happen. I know more now, but it won’t help because they’ve hidden the agreement somewhere and worded it so only they could break it.”

Sakura squeezed her fists tightly. “That’s so wrong,” she said furiously. “How dare they? You’ve proven without a measure of a doubt how loyal you are to Konoha! They should know by now that you aren’t the Kyuubi, nor will you unleash it! They’re being worse than ridiculous.”

“Wait,” Sasuke said. “They said you had to have an heir, but you’re forbidden from having romantic and sexual encounters with women from Konoha, right?”

Naruto nodded. “Yeah.”

“So knock up someone from a different village,” Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

Naruto shook his head. “I already thought of it,” he admitted. “But there’s no way to tell if the woman would be loyal to Konoha, or use my kid as bargaining for something. Plus, if I’m going to have a kid, I’d want him or her to live with me, and that might not work with women from outside the village.”

Sakura sighed and took a sip of tea. “This is giving me a headache,” she complained. “Stupid council.”

“How long do you have to figure this out?” Sasuke asked, popping shrimp nigiri into his mouth.

“A week,” Naruto moaned, putting his face in his hands.

Sakura shook her head, muttering about the unfairness of it all. “It’s too bad you can’t birth your own kids,” she said sarcastically. “After all, they said you couldn’t father children.”

Naruto and Sasuke snorted in laughter, munching on the food. Yeah, it was too bad. After all, he didn’t have…girly…parts…

Naruto sat up straighter. “Couldn’t I?” he asked curiously. When he was met with blank looks, he explained, “Well, couldn’t I just use my Orioke no Jutsu and give birth to my own kid?”

“You’d want to do that?” Sasuke asked incredulously.

“I was just kidding, Naruto,” Sakura said slowly. “Even if you henge into a woman, you don’t have a uterus, and last I checked there aren’t any medical procedures known to give you one. I mean, it could be possible, but it would take much longer than a week, and there’s always the chance that your body would reject it.”

Naruto shook his head. “But Sakura, my henges have always been really powerful. And my Orioke no Jutsu isn’t just a henge! It’s a complete transformation.”

Sakura’s eyebrows slowly rose. “You can actually turn into a woman?” she asked skeptically. Personally, she never wanted to learn about his dirty technique, and berated him for its usage every time.

Naruto grinned and stood up. “Orioke no Jutsu!” When the smoke cleared, Naruto was a woman. Her blonde hair was in its customary pigtails, and she was grinning from ear to ear. “Check me out!”

“Naruto, I don’t swing that way,” Sakura said irritably.

“No, Sakura. I meant give me a check up!” Naruto gestured to her now female body. “Check if I’m a woman with all those reproductive organs. Quickly; I’m on a bit of a time crunch, and I think I’ve found the solution to my problem!”

Sakura slowly approached him, bewildered and slightly confused. After another moment’s hesitation, her hands glowed with green medical chakra, and she began to give Naruto a full exam. Her expression never changed as she finished running a scan and going over facts in her head. “You really are a woman,” she whispered in amazement. “You have a full set of reproductive organs, and you’re actually ovulating right now. I think that has more to do with your chakra than anything else. Ninja always did have a higher than normal chance of having children because of our chakra levels. The more chakra you have, the more likely you are at either getting pregnant or impregnating someone.”

Naruto jumped up and down excitedly. “So I can just give birth to a baby like this, right? I can birth my kid instead of fathering it, and I won’t break any laws and still become Hokage! Dattebayo!”

Sakura shook her head sadly. “Naruto, to constantly keep a henge would be disastrous to a pregnancy. A lot of your chakra would need to go to the baby, and you would eventually need to dispel the jutsu. Naruto, if you try this, you could transform back during the pregnancy, and you would put yourself in danger as well as kill the fetus.”

Naruto dispelled the jutsu and sat down. “So, what?” he asked quietly. “That’s it? I give up now?” He shook his head. “No way, Sakura. This…this seems like the best way to go about this. I know I can do this!”

Sakura stared at him before her eyes glinted with determination. “I’ll help you,” she said solemnly. “But how are you going to do this? Even if you had a regular sex change operation, we don’t have enough time to make sure your body accepts a uterus, let alone become pregnant!”

Sasuke frowned. “What if the situation is actually easier than we’re making it out to be?”

Naruto pondered over their words for a few moments before the answer came to him. “Fuuinjutsu!” he yelped. He stood up excitedly. “I can make a seal to keep myself in female form long enough for me to birth a kid and there won’t be any danger! I’ll need a day or so to make it so that it won’t interfere with the Kyuubi’s seal, but I’m sure I can do this—and within the time crunch!”

Sakura thought about it, a grin slowly making its way across her face. “Naruto, that might work,” she said excitedly. “If the seal somehow stabilizes your chakra flow, maybe using the Kyuubi’s chakra to maintain your transformation, then your chakra can go to the baby. There are still some kinks to work out, like choosing the daddy, but if you can find out how to permanently become a fully-functional female, we can work that out later!”

Sasuke snorted. “Right. Just have to take care of those pesky little details,” he said sarcastically.

Sakura mock glared at him. “It’s easier to get a sperm donor than a woman to bear a child,” she said innocently.

Naruto snorted. “Would artificial insemination even work with me?”

Sakura nodded. “It’s a simple procedure, and it doesn’t involve cutting you or anything, so we won’t need to worry about the Kyuubi’s chakra healing you immediately or whatnot. It is time-consuming, though.”

“So,” Naruto swallowed, “I might have to have sex…with a dude…”

Sasuke grimaced, but didn’t say anything. Sakura shrugged, her cheeks flushing. “Well, you’ll be a girl then,” she said weakly. Her face became serious. “Naruto, civilians normally ovulate for about five to six days. As a ninja, you’ll ovulate for possibly two weeks because of your chakra. You’ll need to have sex every day for at least a week, and then it’ll take another week to tell if you really are pregnant.”

Naruto nearly deflated. “So I’ll need more time.” He hummed thoughtfully.

Sasuke nodded his head slowly. “I think I can buy you more time,” he said seriously. “I’ll give you two weeks.”

Naruto looked at his teammates, both sharing determined nods, and he almost teared up. “Thanks, guys.”

Sakura smiled. “Don’t thank us yet,” she scolded. “You need to make that seal—and fast.”

Naruto nodded his head sharply. “I’ll make that seal, and I’ll be the first man-turned-woman Hokage! Dattebayo!” He left with barely a goodbye, determined to get started.

He had a seal to make.


	4. Chapter 4 – Let's Have a Baby!

Chapter 4 – Let’s Have a Baby!

“A new baby is like the beginning of all things—wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.”

||ShikaNaru||

“Seriously?” Chouji gaped at his best friend, his barbeque pork only half-way to his mouth. “I…never thought your mom would do that…” 

“You’re telling me,” Shikamaru grumbled. They were at Chouji’s favorite restaurant, but Shikamaru wasn’t very hungry. He had thought about all the possibilities of his refusing to do his mother’s wishes, and none of the results were good. It seemed the lesser of two evils was to go along with it. Troublesome.

“Well, you’re twenty, Shikamaru,” Ino pointed out as she ate her salad. “We’re ninja—our life spans are already shortened. Your last mission proved that you can die at any time. Maybe it is time to think about making a family.”

Shikamaru pinned her with a hardened stare. “If you’re so thrilled to start making babies, do so,” he grit out. “That’s not what I want, and I don’t appreciate being forced into this. Women are troublesome enough without children and whatnot.”

Chouji nodded his head. “Shikamaru’s right, Ino,” he said with a frown. “I don’t know how I’d react if I was forced into this.”

Ino sighed. “I know it’s not ideal, but it could be worse,” she pointed out. “Your mom could actually pick out who she wants you to have kids with or marry. At least she’s giving you a choice.”

Shikamaru shuddered. “If she’d butt out altogether, that’d be best.”

Asuma let out a deep chuckle. “Being married with kids isn’t as bad as you think it is, Shikamaru.” He would know. After all, he’d finally managed to nab Kurenai, and they were expecting their second child.

“Troublesome,” Shikamaru groaned, poking his beef with a chopstick. “I wish I had an older sibling. They’d have to deal with this bull.”

Team 10 shared a brief laugh before the air once again became solemn. Shikamaru was very disgruntled at his mom having outsmarted him. She wasn’t able to do it often, but when she did the results were disastrous. The last time she’d done it, Shikamaru was forced to train for ten consecutive hours with Maito Gai’s team. In retaliation, he’d paid Naruto to prank his mother.

Shikamaru wasn’t able to walk correctly for a week straight, and Yoshino had rainbow skin for two. Neither were happy.

A sigh from Ino drew Shikamaru’s attention. Her eyebrows were furrowed in what Shikamaru recognized as her thinking face. Ino had gotten quite beautiful over the years. She kept her blonde hair short and her figure was quite pleasing to the eye. It was when she opened her mouth that Shikamaru was reminded why he’d never asked her out.

“Have you given it any thought as to who you want to bear your child? Or are you going with the matrimony idea?” she asked him curiously.

Shikamaru grimaced in disgust. “I’ve decided to have a kid,” he grumbled. “Grudgingly, mind you.”

“Really?” Chouji munched absentmindedly on his third serving of pork. “I would have thought babies would be more troublesome to you than a wife.”

“The baby won’t nag,” Shikamaru said logically.

“No,” Asuma conceded, “but they cry all the time, and need to have constant care. And I’m telling you—the diapers can be lethal.”

Shikamaru yawned tiredly. “I’ll just need the mother of my child to want to take care of all that stuff.”

Ino frowned. “But Shikamaru, it’ll be your kid too. Surely you aren’t going to shirk on your responsibilities as a parent!”

Shikamaru stared at her. “What you and my mother don’t seem to realize is that there is a very real possibility that I will grow to dislike the kid,” he said honestly. “I’m not ready for children. If I had a baby because of a stupid mistake like not using protection, I would do more than take full responsibility. But this…this is forcing me to have a baby—something I don’t want right now. You think coloring this as a way for me to learn responsibility will make me happy or accepting of this?”

A shocked silence filled their booth, but Shikamaru didn’t really know why they were so surprised. Sure, it was a goal of his to eventually have children—but the keyword there was eventually. The more he thought about his mother basically leaving him with no choice but to go along with her plan, the more infuriated he became. He didn’t like feeling this way. He was a pretty laid back guy by nature, and getting so worked up over his mother’s meddlesome behavior was very troublesome.

“Maybe,” Chouji said almost hesitantly, “you’ll actually like the kid.”

Shikamaru sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows?”

Ino chewed on her lip. “I think you just need to find the right person to have your kid,” she said thoughtfully. “I mean, if you were forced to breed with someone like Sakura, I can understand being frustrated and not liking the kid. Seriously, you and her would have some pretty weird kids with giant foreheads and pineapple hair.” Only Asuma and Chouji chuckled at her attempt at humor. She became serious a moment later, her tone softened. “But, Shika, maybe with the right person, everything will turn out better than you expect.”

If Shikamaru didn’t know her any better, he’d think she was suggesting herself. But he knew her. They shared nothing more than a strong friendship, and she loathed his laziness as much as he loathed her nagging. They wouldn’t make a good couple, he thought to himself. After all, they’d probably spend most of their time fighting. (Edit: She’d spend most of their time fighting; he’d spend most of their time ignoring her.)

“Don’t call me Shika,” he said, his expression one of distaste.

Ino laughed. “You know, you and Naruto are in the same boat.”

Shikamaru looked at her incredulously. Chouji’s eyebrows disappeared behind his headband. “What? But Naruto doesn’t…well, he doesn’t have a family. Who could force him into having kids?”

Ino glanced around, becoming serious once again. A few hand signs later, and a privacy dome (primarily used by high-ranking Jounin on missions) was erected over their booth. “The council decided that if Naruto is going to become the Hokage, he needs to have a kid first,” she whispered needlessly. “But there are some serious complications with it. Sakura didn’t tell me much, but she was really upset about it. They have issues with time as well, but she said Sasuke had a plan to buy them two weeks.”

“Damn,” Chouji whispered. “Everything always happens to him, huh?”

The pleasantly plump man was right. Everything did seem to happen to Naruto. It was like he was fated from birth to have a crappy uphill battle with life. If being the jinchuuriki to the Kyuubi wasn’t bad enough (and boy, did that answer some questions when the news came out!), he had his best friend try to kill him, an organization of S-ranked missing-nin try to capture him, his sensei died, and some villagers still harbored negative feelings towards him. It was like Naruto couldn’t catch a break.

Despite that, Naruto never complained or seemed upset about it. Shikamaru secretly admired him for that, even if he felt Naruto’s attitude and situation were troublesome. Then again, he couldn’t say he’d react as noble as Naruto had.

“He can’t really catch a break,” Shikamaru agreed.

Asuma shook his head. “He’d be a good Hokage,” he decided thoughtfully. “But I can see why the council would want him to prove his responsibility before giving him the hat. Man, the pranks he used to play. My favorite was the Hokage Mountain incident. Heh, that kid sure knows how to brighten your day.”

Ino rolled her eyes. “That Hokage Mountain incident made us constantly have pop quizzes,” she grumbled. “But he is pretty funny. And surprisingly smart.” She glanced at her teammate. “I mean, not as smart as you Shikamaru, but he’s a different kind of smart. I wouldn’t be surprised if he manages to do something nobody would expect.”

“Number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja,” Chouji said, chukling.

Shikamaru sat up straight as an idea hit him. He put his fingers together in a circle, his mind going over the numerous possibilities. Naruto was a bit of a wild card—so unpredictable that Shikamaru never could accurately guess what he’d do next. This made him the perfect person to help Shikamaru with his situation. Even if the blond couldn’t help Shikamaru disobey his mother’s decision without consequences, he would at least make it so that his mother regretted getting involved.

Yes, it was perfect.

“What is it?” Asuma asked, seeing Shikamaru’s thinking face.

“Naruto,” Shikamaru whispered. He glanced at his teammates. “Naruto can help me.”

“How?” Chouji rubbed his chin. “I mean, yeah, he’s kinda smart and can think on his feet, but you’ve already thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Shikamaru said, “but Naruto thinks outside of the box. I’ve explored every logical option, but that’s not enough against someone like my mother. I need spontaneity, and the element of surprise. Naruto has those qualities in spades.”

He stood up, bade his goodbyes, and left to find the troublesome blond.

Meanwhile, Naruto was back in his apartment, tearing apart the forty-seventh seal he’d made. He glared at his ink and brush, not quite sure what he was doing wrong. He’d pulled out every scroll he had on fuuinjutsu (and there were a lot of them) and he had gone over them several times. His strokes were accurate and precise, detailed and magnificent. The seals should have worked, but they weren’t.

Huffing, he summoned another clone in Orioke no Jutsu form. He picked up his brush again and began to draw another seal, this time infusing more chakra in it. It was harder to gain correct results since the slightest disturbance could possibly dispel his clone, but he wasn’t about to try the seal on himself until he could at least keep the clone in female form.

But nothing changed. The clone became a man again after only fifteen minutes, an entire two minutes longer than the last one. The more chakra he added, the higher the chance the clone would get dispelled. Plus, he had no sure way of knowing how much chakra would be needed to sustain his female form for an entire nine months.

He sighed, pondering over the last seal design he had in his head. The seal, an intricate swirl with smooth lines coming together to form a circle, had been originally created to keep weapons in the exact condition which they were first carved in. Meaning the kunai or katana or shuriken (whatever weapon, really) would stay exactly the same for years.

The problem with that seal was that it could not be removed, and it was for inanimate objects. To put a seal like that on a living, breathing human—well, the results would not be pretty. But even worse, even if the seal was altered, it was still impossible to remove.

If it was put on him, he’d be stuck as a woman—forever.

It was an annoying idea. He’d been willing to stay in his female form until he birthed his child, he was even willing to have sex with a guy to make it happen. But to permanently remove his much beloved dangly equipment? It took a lot more thinking than he was prepared to do. He’d dreamt of being the Hokage for the majority of his life; that was no surprise to anyone. And now he was so close to his goal, he could practically taste it. But was he truly willing to forego his manhood and forever be stuck with breasts, have to constantly sit down when he peed, and worry about perverts like Jiraiya peeping in on him while he bathed?

He could feel a headache coming on. Standing up, he took a deep breath and shouted, “I’M GOING TO BECOME HOKAGE!” He jumped up and down and twitched as if he was seizing, but his excitement would not be deterred. So what if he had to forever be a woman? It couldn’t be that hard, right? He blanched as he realized that because of the Kyuubi, childbirth would be more difficult than he’d thought. He shook his head. No! A silly thing like pain was not going to make him have second thoughts!

He was going to become a woman and be the Hokage, damn it!

Now, to choose a father… He turned a little green at the thought of having sex with a man. When he was talking about it with Sakura, it had been easy to pretend he was unaffected by that statement. However, thinking back to two days ago when he’d had that conversation with his teammates, Sasuke’s facial expressions had his feelings pinned exactly. The Uchiha, who prided himself on his stoic and slightly smug mask in the company of the general populace, had blanched and turned green and grimaced.

Yeah, that’s how Naruto felt.

It wasn’t just having sex with a man that was the problem, however. If the council found out about his idea, they could easily throw in an obscure law that said no gender-changing ninja could become Hokage. They were spiteful like that. No, instead of having sex with a man, he’d need to have sex with a man that had good backing (possibly from a clan) so the council wouldn’t dare lay a finger on his unborn child, and one that wouldn’t mind the fact that he was born a male.

The non-existent pool of choices suddenly shrunk into the negative numbers. What man would want to have sex with him? Granted, most men drooled at his Orioke no Jutsu form, but when it truly came down to it, who would seriously give him a child? And more importantly, who would be able to protect that child? As the Hokage, Naruto would do his damndest, but he’d need help sometimes. He’d need someone to be more than a sperm donor, but a true daddy since Naruto himself was going to be—he shuddered—a mommy.

His headache heightened. “Ramen,” he moaned. He dragged himself to the kitchen and groped the cupboards for his favorite food. “Ramen will make this all better.”

A knock on his door startled him. He frowned, not really expecting anyone. Naruto approached the door somewhat cautiously. When he opened it however, he was not expecting Shikamaru to be panting like crazy.

“Yo,” the lazy genius wheezed.

“Shikamaru? What’s wrong?” Naruto asked, his eyes wide as he helped Shikamaru to his kitchen chairs.

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” Shikamaru said, trying to get his breathing under control. “I had to escape Lee when he offered his ‘youthful’ services.”

Naruto laughed as reached into his fridge to get Shikamaru a bottle of water. Shikamaru accepted it thankfully and took a long drink. “What’d you need me for?”

Shikamaru licked his wet lips. Now that he was actually standing in front of Naruto, he was feeling a little nervous. Pushing that aside, he decided to continue with it. “I heard about the council forcing you to have a kid to prove you’re ready to be Hokage,” he said bluntly.

Naruto blinked in shock. “How did you—? Wait, let me guess, Ino heard from Sakura.” He sighed and shook his head. “Gossip queens.”

Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow. “Was it supposed to be a secret?”

“Nah, not really. I’m just surprised at how fast news travels.” Naruto checked on his ramen, and pouted when it was still boiling.

“Right.” Shikamaru glanced at the table in front of him awkwardly. “Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about it.”

Naruto looked at him. “Eh? Why?”

Shikamaru grimaced. “My mom is making me either get married or have a kid. I decided having a kid is going to be less troublesome.”

“Seriously?!” Naruto gaped. “I didn’t realize this was so popular. No wonder there are so many Academy students…”

Shikamaru snorted and fully explained the situation and consequences should he decide to ignore his mother. “I’ve thought of everything, but my mother’s plan is pretty air-tight,” he admitted bitterly. “I was hoping you would have suggestions about what I could do to get out of doing either. I don’t want a kid or a wife right now.”

A sizzling sound made Naruto look at the stove, and he yelped when he saw his ramen was boiling over. It took him less than a minute to have it ready in a bowl for him, and Shikamaru thought Chouji was fast with food preparation! Naruto hummed thoughtfully as he loudly slurped his ramen. “Want some?” he asked. When Shikamaru shook his head, he continued, “I’m not too sure what I could do for you, to be honest. Your mother is pretty scary. Remember when she chased me around the village with kunai and shuriken? She almost castrated me!”

Shikamaru rubbed his head sheepishly, though his lips quirked in a grin. It had been funny to see a panicked Naruto trying to escape Yoshino’s fury after she’d discovered she was literally rainbow bright. He had been in so much pain back then, however, that it had been too troublesome to laugh. “Yeah, she can get that way.” He frowned.

“Why are you coming to me, anyways?” Naruto asked curiously. “I’m not exactly the smartest person in the world.”

“No, but you’re very unpredictable,” Shikamaru admitted. “You have a talent for thinking on your feet, and my mother knows exactly how I would react or try to get around her plan. You, however, are a wild card. You’re just what I need.”

Naruto blushed furiously and slurped some more ramen. “I’m…still not sure how exactly you can get out of this one.”

Shikamaru sighed. “Well, what are you doing?”

Naruto’s blush deepened until it seemed like he was glowing. He glanced around as if he was expecting someone to jump out and catch him doing something forbidden. Shikamaru was once again in a privacy dome a few minutes later. It was becoming a habit, he thought.

“Did Sakura tell Ino why there’s a lot of issues with me just having a kid and becoming Hokage?”

Shikamaru frowned and shook his head. “No, Ino just said that Sakura was furious but didn’t go into detail.”

Naruto nodded his head and explained his situation. Shikamaru was slightly unnerved that the blond had talked about the violation of his rights as easily as he would tell someone his favorite flavor of ramen. It only spoke volumes about Naruto’s treatment in the village. “So I’ve decided instead of fathering my kid, I’ll birth it.” Naruto looked mighty proud of himself.

Shikamaru blinked. “I hate to break it to you, Naruto, but you’re a guy,” the lazy ninja said slowly. “You lack the necessary parts to birth children. Unless the Kyuubi gave you some spectacular man-uterus or made you an ultra baby maker, I don’t see how that’s possible.” He paused, then looked at Naruto’s abdomen consideringly. “No, I don’t think even the Kyuubi’s chakra will do that to you…”

Naruto snorted and slurped more noodles. “No, I don’t have a man-uterus.” He chuckled at the notion. “I’ve decided I’m going to become a woman!”

Shikamaru stared at him. “That still won’t get you a uterus.”

Naruto chuckled more at Shikamaru’s disbelief before going into vivid detail about the discovery he’d made with Sakura two days previous. He seemed oblivious to Shikamaru’s green face as he rambled on and on about being the first man-turned-woman Hokage. “So what do you think?” Naruto asked proudly.

Shikamaru rubbed his temples. “Even though you’ll be missing them soon, I think you have some set of balls,” Shikamaru said bluntly. “I don’t think unpredictable describes you right now. You’ve far outclassed that adjective.”

Naruto laughed. His happiness dimmed a moment later. “But there are complications even with that plan,” he admitted. “For one, I’ll be stuck as a woman forever. Definitely not what I planned for my life, though I guess being able to go into the woman’s bath without getting accused of being a pervert would be nice.”

“Your female form isn’t exactly conspicuous. They’d still know it was you, and they probably would still accuse you of being a pervert,” Shikamaru pointed out.

Naruto grinned. “Well, Ero-Sennin was my teacher,” he said fondly. “I have to emulate him somehow, you know?”

“I don’t think I’d start smoking if Asuma died,” Shikamaru said bluntly. He paused and thought about it. Then again…

“But anyways,” Naruto continued, “I would be forever stuck as a woman. And if that wasn’t bad enough, let’s not forget the fact that my kid would possibly be a target. I’ll need the baby’s father to be from a clan so they’d at least be protected that way, and don’t even get me started on the dangers of being the Hokage’s kid.” Naruto sighed. “It was bad enough me needing to have sex with a guy, but now I’m not too sure how that would work out. Because the father needs to be from a clan means going to a sperm bank is out since, you know, people from clans are forbidden to do that, that leaves me with a huge problem. Who is going to want to have sex with me? Even though I’d be in my female form, that won’t change the fact that I was born a guy.”

Shikamaru winced. And he thought he had it pretty bad. Naruto really couldn’t catch a break. Shikamaru put his fingers together in his trademark thinking move and tried to figure out a solution to his problem. The answer nearly hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Let’s have a baby,” Shikamaru said suddenly.

Naruto choked on his ramen. “WHAT?!”


	5. Chapter 5 – Naruto's Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Shikamaru discuss Shikamaru's 'proposal' and Naruto comes to a decision.

Chapter 5 – Naruto’s Decision

“It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.”

||ShikaNaru||

Shikamaru didn’t see what the big deal was. Naruto needed to have sex with a guy from a clan to protect his kid and Shikamaru offered. It would kill two birds in one stone. He thought the blond would be grateful when the lazy genius suggested they have a kid together. He had not expected Naruto to chuck the mostly empty ramen cup at him.

Troublesome, he thought as he dodged everything else Naruto started to throw at him.

“—can’t just say things like that,” Naruto ranted, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he started chucking random items at the Nara heir. “—eating ramen—coming onto me—weirdo—pineapple man—”

“Naruto!” Shikamaru interrupted once Naruto began to make little sense. “Naruto, calm down! Geez, what a drag…”

“How can you ask me to calm down?” Naruto wailed. He ran his hand roughly through his blond hair. His eyes narrowed and he pointed at Shikamaru accusingly. “You want my goodies!”

Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow. “Look, you need a kid, I need a kid, and you said yourself that you’ll get the necessary parts for it,” he said logically. “If we had a kid together, it could ease both of our concerns.”

Naruto paused in his ranting long enough to think over what Shikamaru said. “How exactly would it do that?” he asked with a tilt of his head.

Shikamaru mentally grinned when he had Naruto’s undivided attention now that the blond stopped accusing him of all manners of perverted conduct. “Very often, civilian women cannot accept the ninja lifestyle. There are, of course, exceptions to that, but I don’t have the time to court them and then ask for them to bear my child. That would be way too troublesome. That only leaves the ninja women. Half of them aren’t strong enough to protect crumbs from a gang of drunk roaches, let alone protect my kid. The other half that are strong enough, well, they’re either crazy like Anko, taken like Kurenai, or have overbearing families like Hinata. It’d be too troublesome to take the time to get over those roadblocks.

“But you,” Shikamaru continued. “You’re already more than strong enough to protect the kid, and you’re not nearly as troublesome as you used to be when we were kids.”

Naruto looked at him suspiciously. “So that’s why you want to have a kid with me? I’m not troublesome?” The blond sighed and shook his head sadly. “I don’t think even a genius like you fully understands what you’re suggesting, Shikamaru. I’m going to be the Hokage. That means if I wasn’t already on a village’s bingo book, I sure as hell would be. A kid—that’s powerful leverage, right there. Think about it. Our kid would probably face assassination attempts, kidnap attempts, cruelty from the villagers that hate me, or even something equally nasty from those old bats on the council. Trust me, Shikamaru, you don’t want to subject a kid to that.”

Shikamaru paused, shocked. He didn’t realize Naruto actually thought all of those things. Sure, there was truth to those words. After all, the Hokage tends to be the biggest target of Konoha. If Shikamaru and Naruto had a kid and that kid became highly sought after because of its relation to Naruto, Shikamaru wasn’t sure if he’d be strong enough to protect it. The entire situation could prove to be very troublesome.

His mind worked in a fury, and doubt firmly planted itself in his head. Maybe suggesting to have a kid with Naruto was a bad idea. Maybe he should back out… But then Shikamaru saw the look on Naruto’s face. It wasn’t often the blond looked anything but cheery, but then again Shikamaru knew sometimes that the expression was forced or completely fake. Still, he hadn’t expected to see Naruto looking so…dejected.

The blond’s lips were twisted in a small smile, but it was filled with self-loathing and sadness. Shikamaru hadn’t seen this look on Naruto since he’d failed the Genin exam for the third time. His stomach twisted uncomfortably, and the doubt he was feeling began to fade.

The situation was going to be extremely troublesome—but Shikamaru found he didn’t care.

“Your point?” Shikamaru drawled lazily. “Look, Naruto, I’ve already thought about all the possible repercussions and consequences to this. I know what I’m doing, and I’ve made my decision regarding it. I just…really hope you take me up on my offer.” He added absent-mindedly, “And, you know, now that I think about it, you’d be an excellent fath—moth—parent for our kid.”

Naruto looked so surprised and elated and hopeful that Shikamaru felt a sharp, intense hatred for the village he swore to protect. The blond bit his lip in thought. “So…so you would really do that? Help me protect the baby and become Hokage? It’s not too troublesome?”

Shikamaru’s lips twisted in a wry grin. “You’re normally troublesome,” he said, “but I don’t mind it.”

“And you’ll be a real daddy? Go on walks, take our kid to the park, that sorta stuff?” Naruto asked hopefully.

Shikamaru almost grimaced. He still wasn’t happy about having a kid, though having the situation work out (or start to work out) was an immense relief. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “I don’t really want kids right now. I’m not ready, but my mother is forcing me into this. But maybe…maybe I could grow to accept my situation, and want it.” He glanced at Naruto. “How do you feel about this? I mean, you’re forced into it, too. Isn’t going along with the council’s plans sort of like giving in?”

Naruto hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think it is because, you see, the council never planned to let me be the Hokage. They set up this condition specifically because I’m forbidden to father kids. Me being a woman and giving birth? Well, that’ll certainly be a slap in the face to them.” Naruto chuckled. “It’ll be my biggest prank yet! And besides…” Naruto’s eyes softened. “This might actually be my only chance. I never really thought about having kids before, you know? With Jiji dead, the council would never overturn their law, and I just had to accept that I would die childless and wifeless.” He paused and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess…it would be nice to have a family…”

Well, that certainly put things in perspective. Shikamaru felt like an ass for complaining about having kids when Naruto, who was alone for most of his life, was never even given the opportunity. Rage like no other coursed through the lazy man’s veins, and he felt the very strong need for retribution.

The silence that followed seemed appropriate, and Shikamaru almost felt like he was disturbing the dead when he broke it. “Does that mean you accept?” he asked quietly.

Naruto glanced at him and blushed. “You realize we’ll have to…” The blond gulped. “We’ll need to have s-s-sex continuously for a week?”

Shikamaru felt his own face heating up tremendously. He felt a little awkward discussing it when Naruto was still a guy, but ruthlessly pushed his slight embarrassment away. “It’s just sex,” he said, though it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than Naruto.

Naruto’s blush deepened. “Then yes, I accept,” he said softly. He perked up and grinned. “I’ll have to tell Sakura the good news! I’m going to be Hokage!” Naruto jumped up and went to dance, but forgot that there was ramen broth on the floor from when he chucked his cup at Shikamaru. He let out a yelp as his foot slipped and toppled to the floor. “Ow…”

Shikamaru stared at him in amazement, praying that their kid inherited most of their genes from him. He snorted as he helped Naruto stand up. “Troublesome,” he grumbled.

Naruto lightly glared at him. “Well, now that I have the seal I need, I’m going to have Sakura perform the, uh, operation. To make sure nothing goes wrong,” he added at Shikamaru’s inquisitive look.

Shikamaru nodded as he made his way to the door. He saw Naruto start to giggle, though the blond wouldn’t dare call it that, and mumble about finally accomplishing his dream. Unbidden, a smile worked its way onto his face. It was nice to see Naruto happy and finally reach his goal in life. Damn the council for trying to take that away from him. They always tried to make him as miserable as possible.

An idea came to Shikamaru. His smile changed into a smirk. Oh, did he have plans for the council. They were going to regret hurting his—friend? Future lover? Baby mama? Shikamaru sighed and shook his head. Their relationship was going to become very complicated and troublesome, and it was slightly disconcerting to realize that he didn’t mind nearly as much as he would have. Maybe it hadn’t completely sunken in?

“I have to go, Naruto,” Shikamaru said, breaking Naruto out of his fantasy.

The blond stopped mumbling about the law he desperately wanted to pass (having a special holiday to celebrate the deliciousness of ramen). “Oh, alright. Um, I’ll see you when I’m, you know, a woman.” He pulled a face at that. “It’ll probably be tomorrow at the latest.”

Shikamaru cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure the sealing will go that smoothly?” he asked warily. “I mean, I know you’re on a time crunch, but I also know Sasuke is going to get you more time somehow.”

Naruto grinned. “Just because that wet blanket is going to buy me more time does not mean I should laze about. Besides, the faster I get pregnant, the faster I can be noticed as the Hokage-in-training!”

Shikamaru just stared at him. “That sounded so wrong coming from a guy,” he said after an awkward silence.

“Oh, shut up!” Naruto shook his fist at him. “And, uh, Shikamaru? Thanks.”

Shikamaru spied the blush on Naruto’s face and felt his own heat up in reaction. “Tch, troublesome,” he murmured quietly. “See ya tomorrow, Naruto.”

Naruto waved the lazy ninja out of his apartment, and stared off into space for an entire ten minutes. His cheeks glowed warmly and his stomach was tingling fiercely. “I’m going to be Hokage,” he whispered excitedly. “I’m going…to be a mommy…” He paused and frowned. “Shikamaru’s right; that did sound wrong coming from a guy.”

Naruto cackled and stood up, gathering his things. He had to go tell Sakura! Blissfully, he ran all the way to the hospital where she worked most days. There was probably another five hours before her shift was over, but she could take a lunch and talk with him and Sasuke about things. He reached the hospital, which was half-way across the village, in record time. Jumping up and down, he walked up to the receptionist.

“Can I help you?” she said somewhat hesitantly.

Naruto smiled brightly at—he peered at the plaque in front of him—Satsuki. “Yes. I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with a medic-nin that works here, Haruno Sakura. We’re teammates, and I have a very important mission to discuss with her.”

Satsuki nodded and checked something on a clipboard. “She should be making her rounds now. Just take a seat, and I’ll page her.”

“Thanks!”

Naruto sat on one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, shaking his leg impatiently. He was oblivious to the mixed looks of admiration and uncertainty around him. A sigh escaped his lips as he checked the time. An entire minute passed without sign of his pink-haired teammate. She knew how important this was to him!

“Um, excuse me?”

Naruto blinked and turned at the sound of the small voice. A little girl two seats from him blushed and waved. She had on a pretty summer kimono and her brown hair was in two pigtails. “Yes?” he asked curiously.

“Are you a ninja?” she asked, her eyes bright in wonderment.

Naruto puffed out his chest exaggeratedly. “Yes, I am. Uzumaki Naruto, at your service. What’s your name?” He stuck his hand out for her to shake.

Her blush deepened as she grasped his hand. “Eri,” she said quietly. She opened her mouth to ask something, but seemed to re-think her decision. Naruto waited with a surprising amount of patience as she had an obvious internal struggle. “Do you…do you think it’s possible…to become a ninja without using chakra?”

Naruto smiled widely. “It most certainly is, dattebayo! One of my good friends, Rock Lee, cannot use chakra, and he’s a very awesome ninja.”

Eri grinned toothily. “The doctors say I probably won’t be able to use chakra,” she confessed. “And my daddy wants me to be a shopkeeper, but I want to be a ninja like my mommy was!”

“Eri, if you study and practice hard enough, I think you’ll be a very good ninja,” Naruto said softly.

Eri nodded her head furiously. “What’s it like?” she asked curiously, tilting her head. “Do you get to save countries and fight the bad guys?”

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, reminded of when he first became a Genin and thought he’d get all of the cool missions. “I can’t promise you’ll get to do that,” he said honestly, “but I do know all ninja play a very important aspect in maintaining the safety of Konoha. It’s a very important job with a lot of responsibility.”

Eri stared at him, awe-struck. “Cool,” she whispered.

Naruto grinned widely. The little girl was adorable, and he couldn’t help feeling nostalgic at her excitement to become a ninja. “It is cool,” he agreed eagerly. “It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it.”

Eri returned the grin. “Thanks, mister!” she said brightly. “I feel less nervous about it now.”

Before Naruto could ask what she meant, he heard Sakura calling him. He waved goodbye to Eri and walked towards his pink-haired teammate. “What’s this about an important mission?” she asked.

Naruto chuckled. “I found a way to do it,” he confessed excitedly. “I have the seal, and I’d like for you to put it on me.”

Sakura almost stumbled in shock. “What?!” she cried. Spying several eyes on them, Sakura grabbed Naruto and dragged him to a secluded hospital room. Locking the door and putting up a privacy barrier, she turned on the blond. “What do you mean you have the seal? Is it safe? Do you know of any dangers? Why do you want me to put it on? I’ve never done any kind of fuuinjutsu!”

Naruto grabbed her by the shoulders. “Sakura, relax,” he said calmly. “The seal is not hard to do at all. The tricky part about it was finding a way to make sure it didn’t disrupt the seal on the Kyuubi, and that it could be put on me. It’s a ridiculously simple seal. You’ll get it right; don’t worry.”

Sakura lightly glared at him. “Geez, it all sounds so simple. I don’t know why I was freaking out,” she said sarcastically. She bit her lip and her tone softened. “Naruto, what if I mess up?”

“You won’t,” Naruto said confidently. “But if by some slim chance you do, nothing bad will happen. I’ll just still be a man and need to find my own way to have a kid and be Hokage.”

Sakura hummed thoughtfully. “And you really want to go through with this?” she asked softly. “According to your notes, Naruto, this will be permanent. Are you willing to lose your manhood forever?”

Naruto nodded his head firmly. “I know it’s weird, but I do want this, Sakura. Being Hokage is my dream, and I’m so close I can almost taste it. It’ll be…different…being a woman for the rest of my life, but I can handle it. Sakura, will you help me? Please?”

“Of course I will,” the pinkette retorted. She nibbled on her lower lip nervously. Her stomach twisted slightly, but she forced herself to calm down. This wouldn’t be any different from performing new operations. She could do this. “We should have Sasuke there, too. Should anything go wrong, I’d like to have an assistant there to help out.”

Naruto scratched his head. “If you think it’ll help.”

“It will,” Sakura replied. “He may not be experienced in any kind of healing jutsu, but Sasuke is labeled a genius for a reason. If I need him, I can instruct him and know he’ll be proficient at whatever I need for him to do.”

“Alright, alright, I get it. Geez, it’s been years and you’re still singing the bastard’s praises,” Naruto grumbled lowly. She didn’t hear him. “What time do you get off?”

“In an hour,” Sakura said after checking her watch. She smiled at him. “I still can’t believe you’re actually going to be a woman.” She shook her head. “I’m still not bathing with you.”

Naruto grinned slyly. “Aw, Sakura, I can be an excellent bathing buddy,” he purred, laughing when she punched him on the shoulder.

“Idiot,” she grumbled with a smile. She glanced at her watch once more. “I have to get back to work. Get Sasuke and I’ll meet you both at the Uchiha complex.”

Naruto nodded and gave her a mock salute. Sakura shook her head and turned around to leave. She paused when she realized Naruto never told her who was going to be the father. After a moment of thought, she shrugged her shoulders. Whoever it was couldn’t be too much of a surprise, right?


End file.
